Her low waist jeans give me a rise. Unfortunate for me, I can't find the occasion
To catch her name, or catch her eye. No matter how I try, it's a hopeless situation
She's so hot, yeah, and I am not the kind of suave motherfucker who'll get a shot, no
It's plain to see, that this can't be. The napkin in her hand's the only thing that'll go down on me

CHORUS:
'Cuz she really takes the cake, yeah, well and I am just the crumbs now
That she ain't never gonna taste, she throws me in the waste, she's done
Eating, and what's left gets tossed into the trash
Crumbs like me just get wiped up then slung out real fast
Thrown in a ditch, well, ain't that a bitch?
I'm less than she'll take, 'cuz she just takes the cake

Her miniskirt's hiked so high it hurts. Her legs, like candy canes, glistening and sweet
Her top fits just right, so perfectly tight. She's the apple of my eye, such a nice treat
She's so hip, oh yeah, she's the shit, the kind of hip chick that I would love to hit, yeah
But I can see, that it won't be, I freeze in place with my jaw dropped as she walks right past me

CHORUS:
'Cuz she really takes the cake, yeah, well and I am just the crumbs now
That she ain't never gonna taste, she throws me in the waste, she's done
Eating, and what's left gets tossed into the trash
Crumbs like me just get wiped up then slung out real fast
Thrown in a ditch, well, ain't that a bitch?
I'm less than she'll take, 'cuz she just takes the cake

BRIDGE:
If only life could be like an 80's movie
Where the geeks get the popular girls
Well, that would be so groovy, yeah

Hell yeah, well she's the perfect recipe, she is tasty sugar, and I am the salt
That got in the mix by accident, so now it tastes like shit, and it is all my fault
She's so cool, and I've been the fool, dreaming and praying for a no-can-do
I finally accept, but with much regret, that this won't happen would be the only sure-win bet

CHORUS:
She really takes the cake. I am just the crumbs
She ain't never gonna taste. Throw me in the waste, she's done
Eating, and what's left gets tossed into the trash
Crumbs like me just get wiped up then slung out real fast
Thrown in a ditch, well, ain't that a bitch?
I'm less than she'll take, 'cuz she just takes the cake

She takes the cake, the cake she takes, she takes the cake, and I'm the crumbs now
She takes the cake, the cake she takes, she takes the cake, and I'm the crumbs now

Crumbs keep crumblin', crumbs keep crumblin', crumbs keep crumblin',
I'm the crumbs that keep crumblin',
Crumbs keep crumblin', crumbs keep crumblin',
I'm the crumbs, she takes the cake!